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ecdysis

by Particle Thief

supported by
Steelman
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Steelman Fuck this record is good. Content is rich and deep. Head Crushing riffs mixed with soul crushing lyrics. Favorite track: all hail the serpent.
sawdust666
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sawdust666 One of my favourite metal albums of all time. The music just resonates with me so much. The sheer freaking heaviness off the riffs in all hail the serpent and brutal intensity to the opening 4 tracks makes you ears bleed. the beauty of it's over now and the fall are sublime. The bassist deserves a shout out for wrestling some absolutely corking basslines. Amazing!
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1.
So is this not what it seems Then how hard can it be You sit in silence counting all the moments As another sleepless night begins to fade This gift was your curse that you never really wanted Now it all collapses, it's too late This day's not like any other There's fear dripping down my spine Where do we go now It's the end of the road now I can't shake this feeling any longer Even though I know I'm fine It kills me to know It's the way that it goes It feels like aeons since we've awaken We've felt like exiles and imprisoned So is this not what it seems As the memories pull through revelations We thought we could catch up to our dreams Then how hard can it be This day's not like any other There's fear dripping down my spine Where do we go now? It's the end of the road now I can't shake this feeling any longer Even though I know I'm right It kills me to know It's the way that it goes Suffered through Eternities Enduring Hyperbole Alternate Realities Separate No empathy Distancing This we must choose Imagine Your self to lose This is how All things must go If you ask You'll never know We push on With a taste for blood Just ourselves Rising through the flood Despite you And in spite of you Can't forgive What you've put us through This day's not like any other There's fear dripping down my spine I can't shake this feeling any longer Even though I know I'm fine Where do we go now It's the end of the road now It kills me to know it's the way that it goes It's the way it must be To save you from me So is this not what it seems Then how hard can it be So is this not what it seems Then how hard can it be
2.
This game we play at the End of each day It's not what we expected Not what we expected Think we need it That's the issue with the struggle can't Anticipate the actions of the ones providing trouble We can say no But my mind is thinking yes and Sometimes it seems to help to get the weight off of my chest Think we need it? When I don't I feel so strong and I wonder what the fuck I was thinking all along Keep our heads straight It was never there before and I never should have given in and opened up the door Each step forward One step back Its not what we expected Not what we expected The debt must be repaid to Genetic memory from those inside their graves Or is it in my mind Try to see but I fear I'm going blind No sleep... Eyes are red. Have another taste Only hours left to start again. Cannot go to waste Leaping off the ledge. Landing on another Can't fall down. Must learn from the strength of my brothers I can control myself I can think for myself the Memories of my father and my mother won't dictate my health I can control myself I can think for myself and I have to keep on trying I Can't continue crying I Have to stay accountable Nothings insurmountable The debt must be repaid to Genetic memory from those inside their graves Or is it in my mind Try to see but I fear I'm going blind I thought that there was more Steered clear from what I knew was at my core If it is in my mind I know there's light in the future I will find
3.
skin 06:36
Mirror void Speak to me Reaching thru Pressure peak Vision white Hunger strain Feeling weak Feeling light Feeling drained Never speak Never write Never sane Flawed physique Never right Unobtained I have gone without so much to get here Why do I continue to carry this fear That everything remains just as it was Forgive me my mind knows not what it does Hey Its gonna be alright Hey Its gonna be okay Hey Its gonna be alright Hey Its gonna be fine Pain lives inside of my skin Looking through you Am I more than what I see Can I undo everything I have done to me Looking through you Am I more than what I see Can I undo everything I have done to me Mirror speak Speak to me Mirror speak Set me free Hey Its gonna be alright Hey Its gonna be okay Hey Its gonna be alright Hey Its gonna be fine And I hate what I feel within Its so hard to go on After all the work is done But the pain is buried under my skin I don't know why I even tried Cause I hate what I feel within I'm never satisfied And its so hard to explain That the pain lives inside of my skin And I'm holding on But its been so long That the pains lived inside my skin
4.
knot of mind 06:58
Rising above my body Seeing myself double A taste beneath my tongue Pushing but I'm pulling Sleeping while awake Vibrations make me numb Who is this speaking Can I even hear Valleys progress peaking I don't like it here What is this feeling I know it isn't fear Splitting personality The vast spectrum has dulled to grey As night gradients into day All the fragments in disarray What is really before me Can this be real Even with touch I cannot feel This is not of my own mind Spectral imagery Geometric symmetry The colors of the earth Mental divinity Or subconscious trickery This cognitive rebirth Who is speaking What is this I hear Everything repeating I don't like it here What is this feeling Am I even here I see myself depleting The vast spectrum has dulled to grey As night gradients into day All the fragments in disarray What is really before me Can this be real Even with touch I cannot feel This is not of my own mind Whose voice do I hear Repeating repeating repeating Repeating repeating repeating Repeating repeating repeating It's repeating Whose voice do I hear Aimlessly riding this wave The lines have been blurred between ecstasy and pain Am the leader or am I the slave What is the reason these thoughts are contained Not of my mind Knot of mind Repeating repeating repeating Repeating repeating repeating It's repeating And repeating Repeating repeating repeating Why wont it stop I can't get out of here Why wont it stop I can't get out of here Repeating repeating repeating It's repeating repeating Why wont it stop
5.
We're here now It's come to this We don't know to do The things we saw before We swore we'd never be But it's happening to you And I don't know how you let this be a part of you no And I don't know how I just sit back and watch you fall We're here now and you haven't said a word Is this the time to bring up all the pain I have It's clear now, you've said all you need to say Now that it's said, we can learn to be again Wasted Trust faded It's hard for you to try to find the time So distant Indifferent We've wasted all our time Wasted Trust faded It's hard for you to try to find the time So distant Indifferent We've wasted all our time It's over It's over now It's over It's over It's over now
6.
be enough 09:39
And who am I now I've questioned my faith And insecurities And where does that leave me now The colors, they fade And dull before me And what can you bring me now No longer can taste The air grows thicker Where does that lead me now It leads me down This winding passage This is not me Have I lost control? I'm incomplete Am I alone The oxygen returns The blood rushes back The darkness dissipates Can I do this on my own I know who I am I know what it takes To break free from you I know where this leaves me now The colors are vivid And shine before me So what can you bring me now It's a struggle to face But I've brought this on myself So where does that lead me now I've opened the door I've made my choice For the first time that I recall I feel I'm in control Not just an outline of my self I think I'm someone after all This time I've never believed in me Cause all that I've heard is the dissonance in my head Call it a flaw in my chemistry A flaw in the life I've lead It took too long to free myself And cast my guilt aside The hardest part was to forgive And leave the hate behind I am whole I am stronger In control Ever longer Is this what it feels like to be real again Is this what it feels like to breathe again Is this what it feels like to forgive Is this what it feels like to want to live I've wasted my time To be in your life I've wasted my time To be in your life Now that I'm here will I be enough Now that I feel will I feel enough Now that I bleed am I strong enough Now that I'm real can I be in love Now that you're here can I trust enough Now that I'm free can I be enough? Abductee Set me free We disagree You will be Finally Too blind to see Questioning All I've seen All I have been Now I know I must be Myself again I think it took a lifetime just to get away I traded guilt for petty insecurities It might take half a lifetime just to feel okay Now its time to finally believe in me Is this what it feels like to be real again Is this what it feels like to breathe again Is this what it feels like to forgive Is this what it feels like to want to live Now that I'm here will I be enough Now that I feel will I feel enough Now that I bleed am I strong enough Now that I'm real can I be enough
7.
32 09:10
So much has changed so rapidly I see no end to what's haunting me Every time it hits me Some days it seems I can cope with it And some days it all goes to shit Nothing seems familiar A test of time I’m being swept away With every passing day Hold on Fear of the unknown Fear of being alone Are we all Drops in the ocean I can't shake the regret Of judgments I held for so long For what felt so right But it wasn't right Pretended I had forgotten It all seemed so unreal Our connection by distance Lost in an instant I wish you held on I'm being swept away With every passing day My fear of this unknown This void was once my home And I wish I had said goodbye But I'm grateful that we had tried I hate that you are gone I wish you had held on The pain was in your eyes I couldn’t see inside The pain was in your eyes I couldn’t see inside Pain And shame The blame Gone unclaimed Pain Shame Blame Unclaimed The pain was in your eyes What was on your mind The pain was in your eyes I couldn't see inside When sleeping wasn't something I feared And before I felt my life disappear I have to remind myself every day that I want it back I want it back I want it back Its slipping thru my fingers are we all drops in the ocean When everything still seemed so clear Before I knew I could persevere I have to remind myself every day that I want it back I want it back I want it back I want it back I want it back I want it back I want it back I want it back I want it back I want it back I want it back
8.
memento 08:09
Remember what it was like The timing just wasn't right Circling and surfacing A broken link I did not know what I should think How could I let my self do this again At this point I just cannot defend Cause I remember The timing is just never right for me Addicted to the consequence Of tensions overwhelming I found comfort in imbalance The complications were so telling If I didn't try to hide The person I am from the people I love the most I think that I would find I wouldn't regret when I let them be so close Sometimes I would even lie Because I thought I was protecting you It felt like a cancer inside I didn't know what else to do Addicted to the consequence Of tensions overwhelming I build up walls for my defense The results are so telling Even as much as I'd try To bury the pride that I used to excuse myself I always felt justified In jealousy, anger, a fucking living hell Creating worlds in my mind To fill in the gaps of the things that I couldn't see Yet I was still I was surprised when you Turned and walked away from me Remember Remember I won't go down this road again Remember how it always ends Remember what it was like I won't go down this road again Remember love grows from within Remember what it was like For you to see confidence in me Now uncertainty I know the struggles of my youth Became a burden to you too But I know that despite all the bad days We made some happy memories Remember what it was Like the timing felt so right The harmony, and synchrony Our mental link We'd always laugh we'd always drink How could I let my self do this again At this point I just cannot defend Cause I remember The timing is never right for me Never right for me I won't go down this road again Remember how it always ends Remember what it was like The timing just wasn't right I won't go down this road again Remember love grows from within From within From within From within From within Remember What it was like To see confidence in me I know you still believe I know you still believe We saw the struggles from our youth Become a crutch that we would use Sometimes the good days seemed outweighed But I love a smile on your face Remember Remember Remember Remember
9.
See the blades coming down Once burrowed beneath the ground A sharp tongue to tease the mind Temptation to which I'm bound All hail the serpent Infinity never ends No matter what we pretend All hail the serpent The blink of an eye Can alter your life Sometimes in the night I feel I'm shedding All hail the serpent All hail the serpent The trail it has left behind Leads right to my feet Corruption of humankind There's death in the streets Closing your eyes Can alter your life Deep in the night The psyches collide Fall Closings walls Bring us close Are we all Descending Down Look in the eye of the devil Feel as the coil of the serpent strengthens Bound by the heightening sense of danger Seduces me with anger Keeping composure through intensifying pain Ingurgitate paralyzed offering All hail the serpent All hail the serpent
10.
the fall 08:49
Let go of the world And let go of all the fear inside Everything's in motion Nothing left to decide I feel like I'm losing my mind I've been losing track of time I feel like I've become someone that you don't want to know I can't help but feel there's some thing wrong Its that crushing wave of guilt that overcomes me now It pulls me under and drags me down I try to scream for help but I don't know how The shadows gather around me as I fall I don't wanna be the one that pushes you away I don't wanna beg for you to stay And as I breathe in, I contemplate this life I'm living And as I breathe out, I focus on what I'm living for I open my eyes, and push past the tears that I've been shedding Cause I realize, I've shed them for no one but me I can't cast aside, all of this weight that I've been under You know I've tried, but its breaking me down All of my plans, all my intentions gone asunder Deep down I know, I'm the only one to blame Stare at the wall Skin begins to crawl No one sees you fall So fuck them all You will be bound in chains, With opened veins And full of shame There will be nothing you can Do to rid myself from you I am the first thing that you Feel when you Are all alone And I'll be the last thing that You truly have But never own Am I alone? How did I get here? Will I be on my own for too long? I'm the thing inside your head That fills you full of fear and dread I am in complete control And wearing thin upon your soul All your thoughts they are bent on me I am all that you will ever see The only way to be rid of me Is to end it all and be set free Can it be? That they all left me? How was I so blind as not to see.... Its that crushing wave of guilt that overcomes me now It pulls me under and drags me down I try to scream for help but I don't know how The shadows gather around me as I fall I'm all that's left I'm all that's there I'm all you have I'm everywhere
11.
vessel 05:36

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released January 28, 2021

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Particle Thief Seattle, Washington

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